There is an innocence and purity to those first vows.
However, there was not a tremor in me, the first time I took them.
I should have known then, it was wrong. The second time, and ever ceremony subsequent, I have been a bit of a jello-head.
There's a kind of crazy, to Real Love, that pulls you along like a river.
One of our first experiences with these two was on the Potomac in an inner tube. You can tell a lot about a person's approach to life, by how they work in an inner tube.
Many flop in, and just go with the current. Some can't ever get comfortable.
Me, I turn over, on my belly in the tube, and start stroking to where I want to go. Some find it impossible simply to turn over to this "active" position. Many get along just fine, however they plop in the tube.
A lot to learn on the river, in a rubber (vinyl?) tube.
I went down the chute first, having basically grown up in an inner tube (mine were always truck tires though, none of this nice plastic stuff) I took the 3-foot drop and let folks know it was OK.
The man I married used to go through first, until his hip and shoulder both required major surgery as a result of having done that in earnest in the wrong place, at the wrong time. I'm not wanting to be in the position of being a surrogate HIM, I'm pretty content being me, and having fun.
He fell out, and I took the first station on a rock I could, in powerful current, to help him back in. I couldn't think of anything else.
In a healthy relationship, people fall into roles, but they aren't defined by them.
One person may not have a good sense of smell, but a very good sense of schedule. That person should take out the garbage or empty the litterbox.
Unfortunately, too often, it's left to the person with the better sense of smell, or more time in the house, to do these things. Just do them. Find a way to work it all out with the least effort and offense to all. Small things matter. They make life easier. Does it make your mate crazy when you do X? Do something else. It's easy. It's worth it. It's the secret of longevity. Holding grudges does not help.
The challenge is, to find ways to care for one another that are effortless, unlimiting, and nurturing of future growth and achievement.
Above all, care for one another.
You never know how important it can be.
I'm on my second round, and this seems to be the keystone.