Two hands, 

four hands, 

six hands, good. 

My cg is sitting across the table from me, with the cat curled up contentedly on his arm. 

It makes his computer mousing difficult, but it makes the cat happy. 

He got some of the most intense work I've ever participated in, today.

He is very happy and calm, but then I just got him dinner at one of the better places in town (Isabella's)  for helping me schlep tables and junk back and forth to class. 

He had one of the better practicioners, a guy whose specialty is baseball players. 

Real sweet fellow, having more fun than he expected in class. It was he and I and another gentleman, doing some "air cranial" with us. 

My friend's reaction to working into the injuries and trauma in my lifemate's body was interesting.

Not just the regular injuries of childhood. 

Not just the regular insults of a lifetime. 

These are the injuries, of a soldier in combat, exacerbated by the system he signed up to serve. 

My colleague is shaking off the energy of the session, he is sweating, he is working like I've never seen this powerful, experienced Rolfer work. He's made a connection with this man I've spent the best years of my life with, and I'm a little lost at the effort he's enduring. 

I'm trying to hang with him, and supporting him, becomes more work than supporting my mate, who's just chillin' on the table. 

I was the one containing the energy of the session. 

I can do it. My emotional amplitude is immense. I have been told, that I am too intense for most situations. Perhaps my life prepared me. Intensity wasn't good news, but it was constant. 

This is the matrix I have been swimming in, this intense confluence of trauma and CNS arousal, which overwhelms most bodyworkers. 

He kept having to kick it off.. and I was just swimming in the confluence like a dumb happy carp. 

Ani DeFranco asks three simple things:

"Why me, why this now, why this way?

What kind of paradise, am I looking for?

I've got everything, that I wanted, still I want more.. "

The biggest thing is.. my cg is really walking around like he got Rolfed. 

He walked home from work. Took a tumble, rolled out of it in stride. 

Today, the soles of his feet hurt.. that was one of the weirdest things that happened to me, was that my feet changed a lot. I see it as a sign of change from the inside out. 

It doesn't look or smell like real pain, just change. 

And that's something hard to do, to such a resilient system. 

Pretty amazing. 

We got his Rolfer a baseball cap with the logo on it.. made the guy very happy. We were happy to see him happy.. and.. just happy. 

The hands of fate may not be my own. 

But then, they might be.