Sunday, May 07, 2006

I'm looking forward to lilacs. This last winter has been so long, and so cold. Evenings in Bayrische Siberien are soft and cool, with blackbirds trilling and burbling at the eavetops. It's not salsa weather by any stretch, at 20 Celsius. Over freezing in Bavaria is something to celebrate, though. Forsythia splashes brilliant yellow, plum and cherry trees float delicate cotton candy petal flakes to the sidewalks.
In Texas, there were fields of bluebonnets, and mountain laurel with its strangely heady "beery" smell. Here, I get high on lilacs. Like the mountain laurel, they are incredibly toxic, but they smell wonderful. A roomful of either would give an adult a headache after a while. I learned not to sleep in roomfuls of lilacs. On the other hand, a generous spray of them in a crystal vase on the kitchen table is an incredibly sensual experience.
This year is the 20th reunion of my high school graduation. It's an interesting marker... like crossing the border in another country. Sometimes they stop you and look at your passport. Sometimes they don't care. It's just another stamp on my passport of life. I lost my first passport somewhere in Austria. It has all the marks from Scotland, Ireland, England (London), a few from Czech and back and forth from the US.
I wonder if my classmates even remember the quiet, strange and estranged girl who wore her hair over her face, and could only really express herself in writing. Sometimes not even then.. the AP teacher gave me the most grudging high grade I ever got, saying.. "weird style, but good writing". I've always lifted a silent middle finger to her when I write, while trying to use the more concrete suggestions she gave me. It's always more fun, when you can hit 'em with their own stick.
I've published scholarly papers without a degree, achieved the equivalent of a master's in my field of bodywork, earned some eccentric attention in the field of martial arts, and pioneered in the area of bringing bodywork to the military.

In general, I have completely forgotten to live a normal life.

I don't figure I'm missing a damn thing.

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